Dating before Marriage: Haram or Not?
One purpose we hope to achieve in life is living it based on the submissions that we could do to Allah and all his commandments. There will always be a fear that at a certain point in our life, we could do something that feels right but is actually wrong by the words of the Quran. There is no denying that this fear could affect us, but there is nothing wrong about being scared with the course of our actions. This is normal and sometimes, all we need is a helping hand, someone who could guide and provide us their sentiments based on facts if what we are doing is the rightful thing.
Our lives have different aspects where we apply the commands of Allah. In our current generation, exploring the aspects of dating before marriage is getting bigger and few Muslim scholars partake to give clarity about this. Below are some of very important key points captured as Muslim scholars answer a question regarding youth and dating before marriage.
A simple question that turned out to be a very common among Muslim youth today is, “Can I have a boyfriend or a girlfriend?”
The question has raised curiosity and a certain need to be answered to this generation as any relationship before marriage denotes premarital sex which is “haram” before marriage. It is considered a grave sin that bears serious consequences in this world and hereafter as discussed as well in Al Quran 24:2.
All of us are blessed with time, one scholar said. Inshallah! Hence, we have to spend our time wisely as it is a practical way of life. If we are going to connect this aspect to dating before marriage, spending our time would depend on our main reason.
There are two main reasons for dating before marriage among the Muslim community, according to Muslim scholars. The first reason is for fun only. These are the people who want to date and find partners before marriage to only pass time, but not having a specific and clean purpose. The other reason is the genuine concern of a person about marrying someone they fully know. For these people, the major worry is tying the knot with someone who they only know the name but not the whole personality. How are they when they are happy? How are they when they are sad? How would I be sufficient in critical times for my partner? These are just some of the questions that the people with the latter reason hope to know before marrying someone.
What is the takeaway? Spend your time based on the second reason. It is absolutely okay to date and meet someone before marriage as long as there is a family member involved, one scholar said. If there is none, one should consider thinking about his or her main reason for dating for it might be the first reason and we want to avoid that as much as possible.
We should always remember one thing when it comes to facing this tough decision- Islam allows us a greater perspective of life and that is “choosing partners”.